Mommy, Is That My Daddy?

Being a black man married to a white woman, it can be interesting and amusing the things that our kids say.  Sometimes the interesting and amusing is replaced by shock and embarrassment.  My 4 and 6-year old sons have asked me, “Daddy, why are you black and mommy white?”  “Daddy, do you know why I love you so much?  Because you are black.”  Kenyan has told me on a few occasions.

Last week, my wife took 3-year old Treyton to his first soccer game.  Mikhail also has his games scheduled on the same day so we do a family split up.  My wife sent me an ‘omg’ text from his game.  Treyton just embarrassed the heck out of me!

On Treyton’s team there was anther kid whose parents were also mixed.  The dad was present at the game and on seeing him Treyton pointed and said out loud to Amie,  “Mommy look!  Is that Daddy?”  The poor guy was probably sent his wife a text with almost the same wording.  OMG!  Some black kid just asked his mom if I was his dad.  Awkward!   As long as his wife didn’t reply, “Are you?”

Yesterday was my turn to take Treyton to his game.  Of course Kenyan elected to come with me instead of going to Mik’s game with Mommy.  Because I’m black. While we were sitting on the sidelines, the other mixed kid, apparently maybe seeing a connection because I looked like his dad, came and started playing with me.  Kenyan leaned over and whispered in my ear,  “Daddy, he must be your son because he is black.” At least he whispered it, sparing me from a potentially awkward moment.

Sometimes when your kids’ mouths begin to open, you cower as you never know what embarrassing thing is going to come out.

Related articles

• That Soccer Season (caramieandtheboyz.wordpress.com)
• Well Daddy Said That!

So, You Still Want To Build? Final Episode

Basement reno with the in-law

It’s been nine months now since we have been living in our newly built home.  During that time, we have installed shelves in our garage, re-painted, spent a fortune on window coverings and completed the basement, adding two bedrooms, a washroom, rec area and a bar.  Our job is far from over as we still have to build a deck, landscape, widen our driveway and build a fence.  And you thought it was easy.  Unfortunately, it’s not at all like buying a new car.

Within the first few months, earth movement has caused some cracks to suddenly appear  the house.  Ceilings, corners and even just along the walls.  Our counters have moved away from the walls by as much as half inches!  At first it was disheartening and fearful to see but it is also covered in our one-year home owners warranty.  Yes, one full year.  How generous of them.  Coincidentally, our brand new car which costs a mere fraction of what we paid for the house, comes with a 5-year comprehensive warranty.  If it develop cracks in five years, we take it in.

When we moved in, our house had markers indicating where our boundaries were.  These markers were removed by our builders when they landscaped.  Yes, by the builder.  Because we need to know where our boundaries were to put up our fence, we contacted the builders to get them to remark our lines.  No can-do.  We need to cough up $800 to get the city to do it.  As if a few hundred thousand dollars weren’t enough…Silly me!  I thought that all that money paid for such hidden services.  And that’s the kind of service many of us have come to expect from the people who built our homes.  Reminiscent of use car salesmen, isn’t it?

If you are still debating whether to build or buy a previously enjoyed home, feel free to use my experience as a guide.  Know too that we do enjoy living in a home that we not only had input in designing but also worked on also.  There’s some satisfaction to be gained in that.  We love, well at least I do, when we take our friends down to the basement that we built and get the ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’.  We love the house and so far the projects have made for good bonding between me and Amie.  We probably wouldn’t want it any other way.

Note:  The builders wanted $40,000 to finish our basement.  Doing it ourselves?  $9000.  Before this, neither of us had any building experience, except in the sandbox but we still managed to even do the electrical work and passed inspection.

Amie designed this unit while I did the framing

I did all the pot lights

Related articles

• Manitoba homeowner upset with warranty of new home (cbc.ca)
• So You Want To Build A New House? Read this
• Our First House Project
• Making The Man Cave

That Soccer Season

The dreaded soccer season is here again!  Amie and I have a love hate relationship with it.  We love that it gives the boys a chance to get out and play with other kids but with three boys who are on different teams, it makes for crazy evenings.  Mikhail and Treyton have their games on the same day, same time but at different venues so mommy and I have to decide who takes who where.
The soccer season was to have started about two weeks ago but with the lingering winter the fields were not ready.  So Monday was the first game and Kenyan was the first to play.   Unfortunately for me, it had to be on my busiest day of the week as Amie works the evening shift on Mondays.  Kenyan and Treyton have no classes on Monday so my mom watches them and I repay her by giving her a ride home when I get home from work.  The trip usually takes about an hour and Treyton usually gets car sick.

When I got home, I immediately set about getting this ready as I didn’t want to take mom home then come back then leave.  I got Kenyan dressed in his soccer uniform and got snacks for everyone.  Then we took my mom home.

Everything was fitting into place nicely and I was proud of my efficiency as Mr. Mom.  We were about one block away from the playing field with about 5 minutes to play time when my evening went sour, no pun intended.  Treyton, the hurler, decided it was a good time to puke.  In the new car.  Mikhail said,  “Daddy!  Treyton is puking!”  and I looked back to see poor Trey projecting puke like the niagara falls.  From his mouth and nose.  I was mesmerized.  I couldn’t do anything but watch in horror.  The new car!  Kenyan’s first game!  Treyton’s clothes!  Drat it!  I called Amie at work to let her know what happened and that I would not be taking Kenyan to soccer then I turned around and headed home as fast as I could drive without attracting the cops.  Poor Kenyan would have to miss his first game. He was so excited too…

I pulled into the driveway, hustled the boys out of the car, half dragged and half carried Treyton to the bathroom, cleaned him up and got him into some clean clothes.  Then I got to cleaning the car seat.  I saw that most of the stuff was on his clothes.  Great!  Maybe we could make the game after all!  We made just as the team was having their pre-game huddle.

Like I said, it’s a love hate thing. I am glad for the chance to get some outdoor exercise but I can’t wait til it’s over.

Related posts:

Treyton’s 3!!  But I want to talk about puke

Soccer Lessons: Unselfish play

Happy Mother’s Day!

I would like to dedicate this blog to all the wonderful women who have played, and still play, a major role in my life.  Helping to define the man I am today.

My long-deceased aunt comes to mind.  Tanty (Aunty), was the first Mommy I knew.  She was strict and she was firm, teaching me respect and the importance of having morals.  I can say that without her mentoring, I would not be the man I am today.  Tanty was not blessed with children of her own but she spent her life taking care of other people’s.   Happy Mother’s Day, Tanty.  Rest in peace.

My mom was left alone with her three young children while my dad took off for preceived greener pastures.  She did not let that stop her from being a mommy to us and stepped up to the plate.  God has blessed her with a heart of gold.  Her unselfishness means she puts others first, sometimes sacrificing her own happiness.  Although verbalizing ‘I love you’ is alien to us, our mutual respect is based on love.  Without my mother sacrificing her own happiness to provide for us, I surely would not be the man that I am today.  Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!  I love you!

I cannot blog about the mothers in my life without mentioning Grandma Rose, my mother-in-law.  She accepted me into her life before she even really knew me.  She gave me the benefit of the doubt and allowed me to prove myself.  My wife has jokingly accused her of being closer to me than she is to her.  Rosie, as I affectionately call her, would give me the shirt off her back if I was in need and she is my other mother.  She deserves to be wished a Happy Mother’s Day.  Love you, Rosie!

My boys are the most fortunate kids in the world.  Why? Because they have a mommy who has it all and does it all.  She’s the best mom any kid could ever want.  Watching her mother our kids is a delight, even though sometimes she complains that sometimes she feels she has to be my wife and my mom.  (Joking of course…).  Amie has been the main architect of the happiness in my life and without her, I definitely would not be where I am today.

When I think of Mother’s Day, these are the women I think of and then I think of those like them.  The single mothers without the help of a dad, the physically challenged mother, like Grandma Rose who raised a daughter like Amie, the mothers without kids of their own, taking care of other kids.  Yes, I think of you and today, I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

Getting Betsy

Last Sunday, Amie and I went car shopping.  We knew what we wanted and what we wanted to pay, which is a big plus when car shopping.  We were determined not to be bullied this time around.  We always say that but still usually end up on the losing end of the deal by giving in to their high pressure tactics.

We test drove a 2012 Ford Fusion and loved it.  It had all the toys, handled well and was great on gas.  Then we took the 2013 for a test drive.  After discussing figures with the salesman, we thought it was a no-brainer to buy new with  0% rather than a 2012 with their financing charges and partly used warranty.

We had a choice between the silver and the electric blue and Amie went for the blue.  I didn’t care, I just wanted a truck.  We let the salesman know our terms and that they were firm and non-negotiable. They threw three different guys at us including the big boss, each coming in with different figures and offers.  We calmly told them that it was ok if they couldn’t meet our terms as we had just started looking and there was no rush for us to buy.  ”Not so fast, we can work something out.” They were quick to respond.

We took possession of Betsy on Monday.  In the end, we got exactly what we wanted and more.  As the salesman was writing up the offer, I pointed to him and said to Kenyan, “See that guy there, if you never eat pizza again, it’s because he over charged us and we can’t afford any treats.”  I was joking of course but the message was not lost on the poor guy.

Now we are happy with our brand new car.  I think I’ll call it ‘Betsy’.  It’s a relief to drive without worrying about the car falling apart or dying on the road.  The peace of mind that comes with the comprehensive warranty makes it all worth it.

Here’s to a long and trusting relationship with Betsy!

Daddy The Angel

Last week I received a call from my casting agency asking if I wanted to try out for a part in an upcoming movie.  I would play…wait for it.  An angel!  Yes, an angel.  I never thought I would be mentioned in the same sentence.  Someone knows something that my wife doesn’t as she would never associate me with anything angelic.

Oh yes! For sure! Why not?  I accepted enthusiastically.  It didn’t matter that it seemed a bit odd for Samuel Jackson’s double to play an angel.  Hello! The ultra macho Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, played a fairy in Tooth Fairy.  So the mini macho me could play an angel in ‘Heaven Is For Real’. Right?

And just think, (Other than berating me for starting the paragraph with ‘and’), my wife, who I affectionately refer to as Angel, would be so jealous that now she has to share cloud space with me.  Sorry honey but could you please move over on that cloud? Hey! Watch it with the feathers!

The End Of Old Faithful

We really didn’t pay for it anyways as Amie’s dad gifted it to us, realizing that we needed two vehicles with our big family.  It was old but good on gas and in the few years we have had it, was very reliable.  Even more reliable than the Nissan Quest that we paid good money for.  So we had a feeling that one day Old Faithful would cease to be faithful.  Even though, it was one of those things that though you expect it to happen, when it does, the timing is still bad and it still impacts you.  And that’s how it was when our car decided to fall to pieces.  All in a matter of days.

Like I said, we never had to do anything to our 2000 Chevy Malibu other than change the oil, put air in the tires and gas it up.  That’s it!  It was always there for us.  Even though it had no heat throughout this past winter, or should I say current?  We still drove it.  Just dress warm and you’ll be fine.  Then last Friday while I work, I tried starting it on my lunch and it didn’t respond.  Opening up the hood, I saw immediately what was wrong.  The belt was severed and was hanging loose.  I had it towed to the garage and the estimate was about $600 as a part had also ceased up causing the belt to snap.  We thought about it for a while as we didn’t want to sink too much money in something that had little value.  We concluded that since we never spent any money on it if we spent $600 and it last us another year or two, then we are doing great!

We went ahead with the repairs and got it back on Monday with a warning that we need to bring it back in as soon as we could as it needed bearings in the worst way and they were critical to its performance and safety.  The estimate?  About $500.  We thought about it again but now it was up to $1100.  Still not much if we never really put any into it before.  So again we went for it.  We took it in on Wednesday and got it back a few hours later.

Wednesday evening Amie came home from the gym and informed me that while driving, something fell from the underside of the car and she pulled over and retrieved it.  She took a photo of it and sent it to the garage thinking that they had somehow done a shoddy job.  No, it was a part of the shock that was broken.  The estimate? The mechanic shook his head at that one and we didn’t insist he tell us.  The prognosis?  It was terminal.  Old Faithful was finally dying like a cancer-stricken old man.  Too bad we didn’t see that coming or we would not have wasted $1100.

We do need a second vehicle so ready or not, we have to buy a car.  (I don’t think Amie’s dad is going to be that generous anytime soon).  As for Old Faithful, he is on Kijiji in case someone needs him for body parts.   Goodbye Old Faithful.  Rust In Peace!

There’s no such thing as ‘Writer’s Block’ when you blog about kids

Street hockey! Note cell phone in Alex’ hand.

Last week I did not attempt even one blog.  I couldn’t come up with anything that was interesting enough to share.  Yes, the boys were still cute and said and did funny stuff but nothing that I considered blog-worthy.  At least, so I thought.

I read and follow some mommy and daddy blogs that have daily posts.  Where do they find stuff to write about every day?  I have three little ones and two teenagers yet I can’t find stuff to write daily.  And, their posts are still interesting!   Maybe I am expecting too much instead of just writing.  So I did. Last weekend was a springboard, no pun intended.

Spring finally decided to show up in Winterpeg!  It was awesome! Because it was so long overdue, it was more like a summer day than a spring day.  On Saturday, both younger boys were sick and unable to go outside to play.  I felt bad watching them standing at the window looking out at the other kids playing in the street.  They knocked on the glass to get the kids’ attention.  It worked as one of them came knocking on our door asking if the boys could come out and play.  Mikhail was able to as he was not sick but us ‘boys’ decided that it wouldn’t be nice if he went out while his brothers couldn’t and he took one for the team.

On Sunday, we more than made up for it.  Both boys felt a bit better and we hit the streets early.  We played a spirited game of street hockey, net and all.  The two little boys who recently moved into the house across the street also joined us for a while.  Then we played a game of soccer with our student, Alex.  Finally it was time to come in.

Inside the boys were surprised and excited when they realized they couldn’t see properly.  “Everything looks pink, Daddy!” I explained that it was too much time spent in the sun.

See? So there is always something to blog about when kids are involved.  No matter how insignificant it seems, it would be looked upon fondly years from now.

(As I published this blog, winter has decided to pay us another visit and outside does not look like it does in the photos).

Treyton doing his thing

Well Daddy Said That!

During Sunday dinner, Kenyan started making chewing sounds as he ate, thinking it was funny.  ”It’s how Nana eats!” He laughed.  He wasn’t wrong.  My mom does eat like that due to her dentures being a bit loose.

Mikhail, without dentures, normally eats with his mouth open while making chewing sounds.  It’s one of my pet peeves even though Amie said I eat popcorn like a ravenous animal, scooping up big handfuls and plastering them all over my face.  I admit, she’s right.  I just can’t eat popcorn one at a time.  But I am always on Mik’s case about eating properly.  ”You eat like your Nana, Mikhail.  Close your mouth and chew your food quietly.”

So here we were talking about chewing habits and poor Nana’s name being mentioned while she sat there at the table.  I knew exactly what was going to be said next.  I just didn’t know by whom but just like watching a disaster unfold I saw it coming.  It was Mikhail.  He picked up where his brother left off,  ”Yeah, that’s how Nana eats.”  Before I could come up with a hastily planned response, he added, “Well Daddy said that.”  Being black does have advantages.  Underneath my complexion my face was apple red. I felt it.  Again, poor Nana.  Ooops!

Amie saved the day with a response.  Sort of.  ”We will see how you chew when you are older and your teeth are loose.”  She said to the boys.  I am not sure if Nana bought it so I added lamely,  ”I was just teaching Mikhail to eat properly so I told him he eats like you.”  (Good one Carlos!).  I think that only added fuel to the flame.  Talk about uncomfortable.  Good thing Nana took it all in stride and kept right on chewing.

A lesson was learned.  Be extra careful what I say to around the boys especially if it has to do with someone who comes over often.  It could be very embarrassing…

Re-inventing The Wheel

A few days ago, I was reminiscing about ‘back home’.  With this prolonged winter, I do that a lot.  One of the things I had fond memories of was playing with ‘rollers’ as a kid, also called Hoop Rolling. A roller was basically any wheel-like object we could get our hands on.  A bicycle rim was the Cadillac of rollers and was a rare possession.  It was shiny and it went fast! and with less effort that it took to ‘whip’ a tire.  With the rim, you only had to place your stick in the groove and run with it.  No hitting required.  It also had a braking system which is applied by putting the stick on the top and pressing down on it. Having a roller was an ideal way for us boys to get our exercise.  It was pure cardio.  Not like we ever needed it.  We ran errands with our trusty rollers, maintaining top speed for almost the entire distance, sometimes a few miles away, to the store and back, trying to keep up with our wheels.  You couldn’t really walk with a roller or it would stop rolling. Duh!   Today, bicycles are parked outside shops and homes but years ago our rollers could be seen resting on the steps of the local stores as we pick up sugar and bread for our parents.   Maybe a roller wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to get myself some much-needed exercise.