Disclaimer: The following is just a personal musing and not to be confused with professional counseling. I do however, profess to have some working knowledge on the subject based on experience. Following my advice can and may guarantee satisfaction.
A few weeks ago, Teenager was ‘released’ by his girlfriend. (To put it nicely). Saying he was hurt would be an understatement. He was devastated! One have to understand that he lives for the girls and considers himself somewhat of a Romeo. His teachers regularly complain to us about his distractions with the fairer sex.
The poor kid stayed in bed for almost an entire day and ignored food and all communication. His constantly updated Facebook statuses begged and pleaded for an explanation or another chance. Daddy had seen and read enough and figured it was time for an intervention.
Cornering him in the kitchen I first told him that, believe it or not, Daddy was no slouch when it came to the ladies. This was not because I considered myself an Adonis or a Romeo. It had more to do with how I went about my business. I took some time to explain to him the Daddy’s dos and don’ts to Getting and Keeping The Girl.
Never come across as over confident to the girl you want. Send subtle signals that you are interested. This not not include lewd looks and loud and obnoxious behaviour aimed at getting her attention. Nothing is more annoying and immature than guys engaging in childish horse play to catch the eye of a girl. If your friends are doing it, stand off and enjoy the show without being a part of it. Look cool but not too cool. Not aloof. Don’t overdo the act by looking like you are too good to play with your buddies. It’s a thin line, I agree. So try to look as though there’s more to you than just the obvious. Trust me, this works!
(My wife calls my look the ‘Bar Look’. It’s where I put my so-called cool face on).
Women (Girls) love mysterious men. They love intrigue. That’s why I would keep a low profile and not stand out too much. If you are at a bar or where alcohol is served and you are looking for a potential girl, try not to get drunk. If you do get sloshed, save the pickup for another time. Unless of course you have ulterior motives.
When you are awarded with the opportunity to talk to her, LISTEN. To her that is. You can miss a lot by trying to tell her everything about yourself while ignoring her voice and body language. It could be the deal breaker. When you talk, keep it light. Feel her out. What does she like? Does she have a keen sense of humor or the serious type? (If you are a funny guy, this is very important). Oh and be truthful. No BS. It is very hard to go back on a lie when things get serious. You should have told her about that other child.
So you did all the above, didn’t jump into bed the first chance you got and it’s going nicely. Resist the urge to advertise to the world that you may have found Ms. Right. No need to change your relationship status on Facebook to ‘it’s complicated’. I would avoid mentioning anything on Facebook. Period.
A point to note. After you got to know her, you realized that she’s not the one for you. She’s the serious type and you are more of the class clown type. There are other signs of incompatibility but she’s a hottie and looks good on the arm. (arm candy). Plus you are the envy of your buddies and other men when you walk into a room with her. I suggest you bite the bullet and move along. Life is too short, don’t waste her time and yours on a lost cause.
Here’s the kicker. The KEEPING HER part. How do you do that? Aha! knew you’d ask. Sometimes getting her can be the easy part. Keeping her can be a different story, even daunting to some. One of the key elements is being true to your promises. Remember that initial chat you had with her where you babbled on and on? Yes, the part where I said shut up and listen. Well it’s time to put up. You told her what a nice guy you were and how you treated women the way they should be treated and after all, the main reason she is with you is because of what you portrayed yourself to be, so live up to the self-hype. You also cracked jokes then, keep cracking them now. You held her coat for her and even open her car door. Don’t stop now buddy, unless of course you aren’t thinking of keeping her. Be The Man in the relationship but not too much of a man that you cannot do the dishes, laundry, cleaning and other chores you consider male-unfriendly.
Know when to show emotion but not too much that you come off like a whiny kid. My wife was disappointed that I didn’t cry at our wedding and mentioned it for sometime after until I pointed out that the weddings we attended where the grooms cried, ended up on the rocks. Her cousin couldn’t stop crying at his and it lasted less than a year.
I could write a book out of this but I only have so much time and blog space. Let’s cut to the hard part. Breaking up. What? But who would break up with me? I am a nice guy blah, blah blah. Sorry to break it to you but good guys get dumped too. So let’s say things didn’t work out and she dumped you. Yes, she’s the dumper and you are the dumpee. You are too nice, it’s not you it’s her…we have all heard the excuses. Continue to be the man you told her you were. Don’t tell your Facebook friends what a B#$@H she is. Don’t post sappy YouTube videos and act like it’s the end of the world because it’s not. Lots of women are out there waiting to be wooed while you wallow in self-pity. Go get em! The way you conduct yourself after being dumped might just be the eye-opener for the dumper to see you for the man you are and take you back. That’s if you want to be taken back…
When you find yourself in that unenviable position, think of yourself as an Unrestricted Free Agent. You are free to get back into the dating game and a chance to find a team that matches and need your talent. It’s not a bad thing, Then just read this blog from the top again.
Coming up next: Daddy Muses On Getting And Keeping The Guy. You won’t want to miss this.