This is part 2 of my blogs on getting and keeping the one.
Here’s a scenario, in school, the teacher presents a math problem and searches the room for someone to solve it. You are good at math and know the answer so up goes your hand. “Me! Me! Pick me!” You are dismayed when the teacher points to Lucy in the back. She didn’t even raise her hand! That’s exactly how some single women are. Their status flags could be seen for miles. “Me! Me! Pick me, I am single!” it screams.
One of the first rule of thumb is to Play It Cool. (Sounds familiar? You read it here first). Yes I know it, it’s a fierce competition out there so you need to get noticed asap, then at least tone it down some. Women are not the only ones who love a challenge, us men love a good chase also. (That’s why we play video games). We enjoy solving things so give us something to work on and we’ll keep coming back. Pretend you are hard to get even if you aren’t.
Secondly but not any less important, dispel the ‘Mr. Right’ myth, they don’t exist. Nothing gets me more than hearing a woman say she is looking for Mr. Right while she’s loaded with issues of her own. Talk about Miss Wrong seeking Mr. Right… (Yes, I know unlike poles attract but that’s pushing it, don’t you think?). My advice is to work on yourself first before going on the market. You said it, the competition is fierce and many Lucys are out there but would you have an open house if it’s untidy? (Well some of us might but that’s beside the point). Needless to say, most of the Ms. Wrongs seeking Mr. Rights are still Miss Lonelies.
Here are a few suggestions: If you are feeling uncomfortable with yourself, for example you feel that you are not at your ideal weight, why not take the single time to work on that? Maybe you secretly think your attitude is a relationship killer, work on it. Learn some pleasantries. Do not put off working on yourself so you could be in ‘the game’ asap and compete with Lucy. Always put yourself first.
‘Just found the man of my dreams. He’s such a good kisser’. ‘Kevin is all that I’ve ever dreamed of’. Does this sound like you upon finding your man? How about a little later, ‘No more dating for this girl’. ’I hate Kevin, he’s a poor excuse for a man’. ’Heading to the bar tonight with my girls, finally free and single’. Social medias play havoc on one’s love life and statuses like these are a dime a dozen on Facebook. They are totally unnecessary and a relationship killer. Fight the urge to succumb to this practice.
I give the same advice to keeping the guy as I gave to keeping the girl, make him feel special all the time. Never give him reason to think that you would rather be with your girl friends than spend time with him. If you spent the time snaring your man, at least invest some time in trying to keep him.
My female friends have always outnumbered my male friends and this not only gave me front row seats to the dramas but also made me the reluctant relationship negotiator on more than a few occasions. I was the hook-up guy so I know of what I speak/blog. Don’t take it too personal though, it’s all general.