Urinal adventures at Santa Parade

Santa Claus in parade, in Toronto

I intended to write two separate blogs, one on the Santa Parade and the other on the Urinal thingy.  Since they are related in a way, I am going to relate them in one blog. Plus it’s easier for you to read.

Yesterday was our annual Santa Claus Parade.  As per our family tradition, we

all went downtown to take it in.  Well all except the teenager.  What teenager?? Have you even been reading my blogs?  It wasn’t cool enough for him.  No, not the temperature…never mind, go back a few blogs and catch up.  So anyways, like I was saying, we all went and had a good time as we usually do.  I ate a few too many candy canes but who’s counting? The evening was as good as it gets for a late Winterpeg (Winnipeg) fall, which made for an excellent turnout.  There was a record shattering  130 something floats.

Some people have hangups about the old man with the white beard.  I don’t.  So whatever floats your boat.  It’s really not much different from the fairy tales we read for them as kids.  Anyways, lets save that for another blog.

At the end of the parade, (thankfully!) Mikhail got the urge to go pee pee. (Funny how that word has two meanings…).  He said he ‘really wanted to go’ so I grabbed him and headed for the closest opened establishment that had a public washroom.  There was a small lineup to use the bathroom but after a short wait, we found ourselves at the next available urinal.  (There were two stalls and both were occupied).  The urinals were made for adults, not a 5-year-old. To make matters worst, Mik was dressed for arctic weather. he was wearing long johns, then his jeans, then snow pants with attached suspenders and winter boots. (Don’t laugh, it’s Winnipeg.  We are known for our winters. Google it).

So I am fumbling to make an escape window for his little pee pee so he could go pee pee.  There’s a lineup happening behind me so of course I’m getting flustered like I sometimes do in these situations.  I am trying to make an exit hole for his little man and not getting anywhere while thinking, “Jeez mommy, did you REALLY have to dress him up like this?” Anyways, his little pee pee is almost finally out so being daddy and him being only 5, I did what any dad would do.  That’s when he uttered the words that can cause any man, dad or not, to shrink “You are touching my pee pee!”  I reddened. Not that you would notice because luckily I am dark-skinned but believe me, I did!  Hello! I said there was a lineup. I could feel the stares on my back but didn’t dare look.

I again did what most dads would do then and said ‘to heck with this!’ and removed snow pants, jeans, long johns, boots and jacket.  I then held him up and allowed my 5-year-old relieve himself by himself.  Did I mention that the kid using the adjacent urinal kept casting nervous glances my way? Well yes, he was.  I saw him from the corner of my eye as I didn’t want to even glance his way. Oh the joys of parenthood…

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About Enigma

I am just a normal guy with an abnormal way of thinking. Proud father to three remarkable boys and devoted husband to an angelic wife who knows everything and does everything to perfection. So I am BLESSED!
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